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Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Harnessing Your Inner Coach for a More Compassionate Self

Eva Redpath

Jan 19, 2024

Self-sabotage is a common obstacle that many of us grapple with, often without even realizing it. On a recent panel, I was asked to shed light on this internal struggle and explore why it's such a significant hurdle for us to overcome. In this blog post, we will delve into the concept of self-sabotage, the internal dialogue that fuels it, and how we can harness the power of our inner coach to foster self-compassion and personal growth.

The Internal Landscape

Most of us lead our lives as though they are happening to us, rather than through us. We may not fully appreciate the role we play in shaping our own destinies. The tools we wield in crafting our lives are subtle yet powerful: our thoughts, beliefs, actions, decisions, and even the words we speak aloud. However, it's our inner dialogue that often holds the most influence.

As I've personally experienced, that inner voice can be a relentless critic, always ready to undermine our thoughts, actions, and decisions. My inner saboteur, for instance, takes the form of a perfectionist who thrives on control. This inner commentary often leads to self-doubt, anxiety, and, ultimately, self-sabotage.

The Illusion of Self-Control

Why do we engage in self-sabotage? One intriguing reason is that it offers us an illusion of self-control. When we self-sabotage, we create predictable outcomes, even if they are negative. This predictability can make us feel like we are the masters of our own destiny, even when it leads to our detriment.

It's frustrating to realize that we are our harshest critics, but turning off this inner chatter isn't always easy. Instead, we can strive to reframe it into something helpful and positive.

Harnessing the Power of Your Mind

I often advise my coaching clients that the mind is flexible, provided we know how to bend it. We can use our thoughts to change our thoughts. Here are some practical steps to help you navigate the maze of self-sabotage:

1. Create Distance: Take a moment to pause and breathe when you find yourself caught in a chain of unhelpful thoughts. This pause allows you to step back and observe your thoughts objectively.

2. Challenge Your Thoughts: Ask yourself a simple question: How realistic is this thought? Can you take steps to replace it with a more helpful one? By questioning the validity of your negative thoughts, you can start to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion: One of the key strategies to counter self-sabotage is to replace your inner critic with an inner coach. This inner coach, or inner leader, is the voice within you that handles challenges with clarity, calmness, and positivity. It fosters a more self-compassionate way of being, allowing you to approach yourself and your goals with kindness and encouragement.

Self-sabotage often lurks in the shadows of our minds. However, by acknowledging its existence and understanding its origins, we can begin to take control of our inner dialogue. We have the power to transform our inner critic into an inner coach, guiding us towards self-compassion and personal growth.

Remember, self-sabotage may be a familiar companion, but it doesn't have to be a permanent one. Embrace the tools and strategies outlined here to begin your journey toward a more empowered and compassionate self.

If you're ready to take the next step in conquering self-sabotage and unlocking your true potential, I invite you to book a coaching call with me.

Your future self will thank you for taking this empowering step!

About the author

Eva Redpath
Wellness Leader & Solution Focused Life Coach | Transforming Minds, Bodies & Lives
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Hi! I’m Eva. If you’ve landed on this page then you’re like one of the many people I’ve helped who are looking to unearth their blind spots and shed the things in life that are holding them back and dragging them down. I’m a professionally certified coach whose mission is to provide you with the tools, support and strategies to transform yourself and your life so that you can achieve the happiness and success you want and deserve.

Let’s meet and move towards transformation together.

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