Connection Is Lost

I missed a lot about my unit after I retired. At one point, I was told I might have romanticized the day-to-day a little and forgotten about all of the struggles and frustrations. That may be true. Even with those challenges though, and maybe even because of those, I really missed the people I worked with and the singular mission focus we had.

One thing that can’t be denied though is while in the unit, I had a network of connections that I would see daily, weekly, or whenever the situation required. We had our own lexicon, common frustrations, and battle rhythm. Even in social situations, we had short-hand to talk about things in plain sight that were work-related but the words we used were effectively meaningless to the uninitiated.

During heightened tensions, either real-world or exercise, it was amazing to have the trust and confidence of everyone around me to be the best at their job, constantly thinking steps ahead, aware of risks, and effectively able to communicate with the larger team.

When I retired, this connection was lost. I developed closer relationships at home, but the loss of the professional environment like the one I was in can’t (and shouldn’t) be replaced by a personal, family relationship. I had a gap in my life, one that I don’t know if I realized was so important until I retired.

I was not disillusioned to think I would ever have that same connection in my retired industry and I also knew I wasn’t alone. I had lunch with another retired unit member and confirmed what I knew. We decided that we would meet routinely to keep a solid connection with a person who had similar experiences. Of the next few months of essentially providing each other counseling sessions, we decided we should cast a larger net.

We started a social network page and reached out to other retired members and they joined in. This allowed us to have a “place” to turn to if there was a question about VA issues or professional networking opportunities. There was a channel to put out important dates for our former unit (retirement, promotion, Change-of-Command ceremonies, etc.) which would provide us with an opportunity to see each other and old friends still in the unit.

Using this same platform, we thought it may be helpful for members within a year of retiring to join the community. This would open them up to dozens of perspectives regarding the retirement process to share lessons learned and answer other questions. To facilitate this, we contacted the transition team at the unit and had them add this to the checklist, so now it isn’t about who you know but it is a part of the process.

We have a network that is connected now, but it took action to make it happen and has gone through some evolutions already. When you’re still in, the network is up and running all of the time. Names and faces change, but it is there and maintained by the nature of the work we do. It only took two people to discover this is likely a challenge for almost everyone and we’ve already seen it help quite a few people, even folks who have been retired for several years.