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You’ve heard of the fear of success, but **what about the benefits of not succeeding**?  

Looking back at your life, where did holding yourself back actually seem **beneficial** to your unconscious mind?  

The unconscious mind is there to serve you, but all too often it has the wrong idea.  In this case, for me, it was all about changing my mindset to embrace that as much as I held myself back, I truly did want to succeed.

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Looking back, I can't help but think about how the lyrics “You’ve got to want to succeed” from the song "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes inspired me to look into my own aspirations for success. Those six words set off a whirlwind of thoughts in my mind, prompting me to ask questions and seek answers within myself. 

**It was a moment of awakening**. It made me look back at my life and how I related to success and the obstacles that held me back. And let me tell you, it wasn't a straightforward road.  It’s been a winding, broken road… like the roads we have all travelled on in our journeys. 

**I used to question whether I really wanted success**. I mean, I looked at successful people and admired them, but when I thought of success for myself, I felt this anxiety and found comfortable discomfort in avoiding anything that might lead me to success. Can you relate?

But here's the thing: I started realizing **there had actually been some benefits to NOT succeeding**. Living in a toxic marriage gave me a sense of security, even though it also meant relying on something that caused me pain. Playing it safe and not putting myself out there protected me from the risks and challenges that come with chasing success. I kind of got uncomfortably comfortable hiding in plain sight.

**But let me tell you, that hiding had its costs.** My tolerance for all of those heavy emotions got too high.  I found myself trapped in self-pity, constantly feeding my fear of ending up with nothing. It became a cycle, reinforcing this belief that failure was inevitable. I was unknowingly holding myself back, hiding from the world and denying my true potential.

But then it hit me. **Embracing success had its own set of advantages**. It meant independence, the freedom to live life on my terms without depending on anyone. It spurred me into getting my advanced degrees and training and putting myself out there in a big way as someone who helps others out of where I once was.  That drive opened up a world of possibilities, allowing me to pursue my passions and explore new horizons. And you know what? The idea and potential of being known and respected as an expert in my field, someone who could inspire others, that became a driving force for me.

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**What does success look like for you?** It's not just about material things or achievements. It's about feeling confident and competent in what you do. It's about embracing who you really are and knowing deep down that you have something valuable to offer. Success means living boldly, believing in yourself, and making a positive impact on others. And yes, financial abundance can play a part in giving you the freedom to pursue your dreams without limitations.

**Success isn't a one-time destination.** It's a journey of self-discovery and growth. It means asking yourself the tough questions, facing your fears and limiting beliefs, and aligning your desires with your true self. It's about defining success on your own terms, not based on what others expect of you.

**So my friend, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your own journey. **

* *What obstacles are holding you back?*

* *What positive intentions might be hidden behind them?*

**Redefine what success means to you, and believe in your own potential. It's time to step out of hiding and embrace the path that leads to your own version of success.** 

***You've got this!***

You've Got to Want to Succeed

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Hey there, have you ever noticed how there are times when you're absolutely gung-ho about your dreams? It's like a sunny day in your mind, and you're charging forward, full of excitement, heading towards your goals. 

But then, there are those moments when you're more like a careful driver, gingerly steering clear of potholes and obstacles, just trying to avoid trouble rather than zooming toward something specific.

Now, we're not one way or the other all the time, but we do tend to lean more toward either the "let's go for it" or the "let's steer clear of problems" side of things. 

So, what's your style? 

* Are you more of a "go-getter"/“go towards” person?

* Are you more of an "avoider"/”move away from” kind of person?

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**My "Go-Towards" Story**
When I decided to go back to school as a “mature” student, I had my eyes set on a mental health counseling degree. I had children to support, a marriage to leave, and I wanted to do it all as quickly as possible. My strategy? Full-on "go-getter" mode. I spent most of my time in front of my assignments, working feverishly to get them done. During vacations with the kids, I was all about studying. I took my computer to the town pool, and even took it to Busch Gardens!  I had that "go get it" mentality, and I was determined to make it happen. And I did! I earned my degrees, got a divorce, and started a new life in which I’m very happy.

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**An "Avoider/Move Away From" Couple in Language Patterns**

Let’s look at this a different way. Think of a couple in a relationship. They navigate their life journey together without a clear sense of what they want to achieve as a couple or what their shared goals are. They rarely engage in meaningful conversations about their future, and when challenges arise, they tend to avoid addressing them directly. Their interactions lack intention, and they often find themselves reacting to circumstances rather than proactively shaping their shared path. In many ways, they represent the "avoider" dynamic in a relationship, where they steer clear of confronting issues or setting mutual aspirations. 

**The "Go Towards" Language Patterns**

If you're all about that "go-getter" energy, you're the one who's buzzing with excitement for your dreams. You're thinking about the good stuff, like excelling in your job, maybe even launching your own business, or mastering a new skill. You've got a clear picture of what you want. You're charging ahead, ready to make things happen.

The "Away From" Language Patterns

On the flip side, if you lean more towards the "avoider" camp, you're on the lookout for potential problems. You've got your radar tuned to spot pitfalls, avoid trouble, and keep crises at bay.

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**Balancing Act in Language Patterns**    

Here’s the thing, both approaches have their merits, and we need both types in this world.  

Big organizations want people who can take charge and get things done, but they also need those who can spot trouble from a mile away. They're after the positive, action-oriented folks who know what they want and how to get there. 

But sometimes, those action-oriented folks might not see the potential pitfalls until it's too late.  So organizations also value those cautious souls who can spot obstacles, steer clear of messes, and keep everything on track.

But here's the catch: You might not want the "avoiders" to be leading your projects. They tend to take their sweet time.  And decisions?  Well, those often get postponed until the very last minute. But when that deadline looms, they kick into high gear, all motivated to avoid the looming disaster.

**The Power of Focus in Language Patterns**

Here’s the bottom line: What you focus on often becomes your reality. If you set your sights on your dreams, make a plan, and put in the effort, you're likely to have a happier, more successful journey. 

On the other hand, if you're always worried about what might go wrong, you might end up feeling anxious, suspicious, and unsatisfied with where you're at.

**Life’s Compass**

In our life journey, language patterns act as our compass. They balance two types of motivation – the "go get"/“move towards” and the "avoid trouble"/”move away from” mindsets. By embracing both, you'll discover your unique path, driven by your goals while effectively navigating any challenges that come your way.

**Identifying Your Default Language Patterns**

As you go through the next few days, pay attention to the language you use.  

Are you thinking or speaking in avoidance language or more of a go-getter language?  

Are you feeling inner body sensations of moving towards something or feeling the need to move away from it?  

Are you seeing yourself in your mind’s eye achieving your goals or looking for ways to get away from something?

**How would you like to be communicating? ** 

➡️   Towards Goals   ➡️  

⬅️   Away From Problems   ⬅️       


**If you no longer want to communicate the way you currently are, let’s talk about what you want for yourself and bring it to life in your language! **

What Propels You?

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**The battle between our Inner Cheerleader and our Hidden Self-Doubter

Imagine this ongoing internal dialogue, a deeply rooted feeling that's as genuine as your daily breath. 

On one side, there's a part of you strongly affirming your worthiness of a life filled with positivity and abundance, like your personal cheerleader saying, "Yes, you deserve all the goodness life has to offer."

But then, there's another part, hidden within, cautioning you, insisting, "No, you don't deserve it. Don't even try."

This sets off an internal struggle. On one hand, there's a genuine effort to break free from doubt and claim, "Yes, I am worthy of a good life." On the other hand, there's a familiar clinging to doubts, as if they've become a part of you, a mechanism to protect yourself.

In this battle, you swing back and forth, feeling the tug of these conflicting forces. You know that a bright future awaits you, filled with abundance. But you also realize that you've held yourself back, almost as if to validate past pain.

Looking back, there's a sense of longing, a wish to have embraced this truth earlier. Deep inside, there's a desire for that crucial moment of realization, where all doubts vanish, and you confidently step into the life you truly deserve—a life painted with colors of fulfillment and joy.

* Have you noticed areas in your life where resistance holds you back from embracing your true self? 
**
* How is your unconscious mind using this resistance to protect you in its unique way? 

* What if you could release this resistance and wholeheartedly embrace the truth, allowing it to shape your life?

This resistance is embedded in the unconscious mind, created through your brain's perception of your experiences and learning.  And it's powerful resistance designed to keep you safe.  But that safety is holding you back.  Are you ready to transform that powerful unconscious and rewire the learning so it works better for you?

Let's embark on a journey together to discover the hidden patterns and beliefs that have been holding you back. I'm here to guide you, using the expertise of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis, to break free from doubt and embrace your worthiness.

Reach out to me today, and let's begin this transformative process. Your true self is waiting to emerge, and I'm here to help you unlock its full potential.

Turning to Belief

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"Beyond Healing: Building Your New Life" is coaching specifically for those with a history of childhood trauma and focuses on leveraging the progress you've made in healing from childhood trauma to shape the life you desire. It's about transitioning from recovery to actively creating a future that aligns with your true self and aspirations.

This coaching approach acknowledges the hard work you've already put into healing from your past trauma. It recognizes that you've reached a point where your past doesn't define you, and you're ready to ask, "What now?" It's about shifting the focus from healing to building — turning your attention from the rearview mirror to the road ahead, filled with opportunities and possibilities.

In this coaching space, we'll explore what 'building your new life' means to you. It's about identifying your passions, interests, and values that perhaps were overshadowed by the necessity of healing. Now, with a clearer mind and a lighter heart, you have the chance to rediscover these aspects of yourself and align your life with them.

We'll work together to set concrete, achievable goals that excite you and reflect who you are at your core. Whether it's career aspirations, personal development, relationships, or hobbies, we'll map out a path that resonates with your true self. This coaching is grounded in the present and future — it's forward-thinking and action-oriented, designed to empower you to take the reins of your life.

This process is also about acknowledging and overcoming any lingering fears or doubts that may arise as you step into new territories. It's normal to feel uncertain when charting a new course, especially after significant healing. As your coach, I'm here to provide support, encouragement, and a safe space for you to express and navigate these feelings.

"Beyond Healing: Building Your New Life" is not just about moving on; it's about moving forward with intention, purpose, and joy. It's about using the resilience and strength you've honed through your healing process to build a life that's not just about surviving but thriving. Together, we'll embark on this journey of reinvention, creating a life that's not only new but authentically yours.

You may be thinking:  

**Why do I keep doing that???  Why can't I get myself to stop doing that?   **

Do you feel that you just don't have any control over your own mind?  

Do you want less confusion in your head, less anxiety, and more internal motivation to get things done?

By partnering with me, you'll release hidden blocks and limiting beliefs that have gotten in your way of getting what you want.

I use my vast education and experience in mental health, human behavior, hypnosis, and brain science to help you reach your desired changes in the way your brain learns best, fastest, and easiest - through the unconscious mind.  

I am the unique change maker you need.  I'm a Licensed NLP in Hypnosis and EMERGE practitioner, an ICF Professional Certified Coach, certified Hypnosis practitioner, and certified Trauma Informed Coach.  I hold BS and MS degrees in psychology and clinical mental health counseling. 

I know the brain and how each of us develops our patterns of acting/reacting, quite often in ways that don't feel so good.  

Most importantly, I know how to reteach your brain to serve you best!

We'll dive deep into what you truly want to accomplish for yourself over the next 3 months and identify your specific goals.

Assessment and Your Unique Goals

We'll explore core values, personal strengths, and how they can guide your growth journey.

Values and Strengths

We'll create a vivid picture of your ideal future, focusing on all key life areas.

Visioning Your Future

We'll identify and strategize ways to overcome internal and external obstacles.

Overcoming Barriers

We'll develop techniques to enhance resilience for facing future challenges.

Building Resilience

We'll examine current relationships and strategies to deepen connections

Enhancing Relationships

We'll align career aspirations with personal passions and values.

Work and Passion

We'll incorporate practices that improve physical and mental health.

Health and Well-being

We'll set financial goals aligned with your life vision and values.

Financial Wellness

We'll develop strategies for maintaining balance between work and personal life.

Personal and Professional Balance

We'll integrate learnings and changes into a cohesive, fulfilling life plan.

Life Integration

We'll reflect on progress, celebrate achievements, and plan for continued growth.

Reflection and Next Steps

"What's Next?" - Building a Life After Trauma Recovery

Beyond Trauma: Building Your New Life

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The basic premise of this 12-week coaching program is to guide individuals from a state of frustration and feeling stuck to achieving personal fulfillment, confidence, and inner peace. It's designed for those who, despite being resilient and successful in certain areas of their life, continue to struggle with feelings of inadequacy, challenges in their relationships, career, self-image, and find themselves repeating unhelpful patterns. The program focuses on:

1.  Deep Self-Understanding: Identifying and acknowledging personal strengths and areas of struggle to build a strong foundation for growth.

2.  Empowering the Unconscious Mind:  Leveraging the power of the unconscious mind to replace old, automatic responses with new, empowering behaviors that align with the individual's goals and values.

3.  Creating Positive Patterns:  Breaking free from repetitive negative patterns and establishing new, constructive behaviors that support personal well-being and growth.

4.  Enhancing Self-Image and Authenticity:  Working towards a positive self-image and ensuring that actions and responses are true to the individual's deepest desires and values.

5.  Applying Changes Practically:  Implementing the strategies and insights gained into daily life to effectively navigate life's challenges across various domains such as career, relationships, health, and finances.

6.  Planning for Continued Growth:  Setting a path forward with tools and strategies for sustained personal development beyond the program.

The program is rooted in the belief that meaningful change is achieved by understanding and realigning the unconscious drivers of behavior, fostering self-compassion, and taking deliberate action towards one's desired life. It's aimed at those seeking real solutions and a transformative path to a more fulfilled and authentic existence.

We'll start by assessing what it is you want to achieve over the next 3 months.  We'll set SMART goals that are in alignment with your values.  I will provide you with a proprietary assessment for better self-enlightenment.

Assessment and Your Goals - Week 1

We'll discuss the results of your assessment and dive deep into your values, helping you better understand your beliefs and how you came to hold them - family, religion, school, peers - and which are truly yours and which actually belong to others and not you.

Deep Values Dive - Week 2

We'll explore how your subconscious/unconscious mind communicates with you and what it's trying to tell you.  

Your Unconscious Mind's Communication Style - Week 3

We'll continue exploring values, beliefs, actions and reactions to help you better understand who you are and how you've gotten this far in life, and how you want to be instead.

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 4

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 5

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 6

We'll reassess your original goals and adjust, add, and eliminate as needed.

Reassess Goals and Values - Week 7

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 8

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 9

Powerful Inner Change Work - Week 10

We'll continue the deep change work while taking a deep look at the changes you've experienced over the last 10 weeks.

Looking back over the last 10 weeks - Week 11

I'll show you how to take what you've learned about yourself and how to apply the proprietary techniques to your life going forward.  

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