This Little Light of Mine

In her poem "Our Deepest Fear" Marianne Williamson writes: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

Ever since I was a little girl, I struggled with shining my light. I thought it was more important to keep someone else's light shining brighter than my own.

As an adult, that led me down a path filled with overcommitments, stress and exhaustion. I was drinking too much alcohol, eating unhealthy foods, not sleeping well, and enduring toxic relationships and environments.

In the spring of 2020, it all became too much to handle. I was a powder keg giving off sparks, until one day, I finally exploded. When I looked around at the rubble of the life I had created, I didn’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. I was surrounded by complete darkness and feeling utterly unwound.

And then I took a deep breath. And another. Soon, a little light began to shine. My little light. While my life was still a pile of rubble, I was alive and I had a choice: continue down the path I was on or take a new path toward my light.

I decided it was time for me to put my oxygen mask on first. Time to let go of everything that no longer served me and to connect with the source of my light and purpose.

Determined, yet unsure where to start, I reached out to my trusted circle and asked for help. With friends, family and mentors by my side, I took one small step, which led to another small step, and then a bigger step, until I found myself running full speed toward the light inside of me.

Today, I have a healthier relationship with food and I am sober. The relationships with my children, friends and family are deeper and more authentic. And I also have the tremendouse privilege of helping others connect with their light so they, too, can illuminate the world.

What I am most proud of, though, is how deeply connected I am with the woman who looks back at me in the mirror and the comfort I find in the warmth of light that she shines so bright.

Williamson’s poem concludes with these powerful words: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So now I ask you... are you brave enough to liberate yourself from fear and to let YOUR light shine bright? To be the lighthouse in the storm that shows the ones you love how to liberate themselves?