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Written By: Karina S. Schneidman 

Disclaimer: I am not offering any medical advice, suggestions on treatment or medical expertise. These are my blogs, they are my thoughts based on my own experience and some knowledge I retained. 

Some brains mimic other brains, some share habits, responses, abilities, and characteristics. However no two have the same brain anatomy. Each combination of genetic factors, experiences and the behavioral habits dictate how the brain will actually function. Much like fingerprints, the brain is special, special to your specific needs and wants. 

Let’s say you were recently diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) with a neurodivergent brain or even mood disorders. Maybe its ADHD or a Spectrum based functional brain, or anxiety, depression, etc, now what? Suddenly a lot of things make sense, right? Maybe you understand the why and the how. You might even finally feel seen and understood. That “aha” moment about how you process information finally makes sense! Relief and fear may run through your body (especially if you are diagnosed later in life.) You worry about what this means and how this changes your life, maybe? Maybe not. 

This is only the beginning. Yes, you have a different brain, but we all do. Yes, it comes with its own challenges, but we all have challenges. Did you know that based on science we only know about 10% of the brain. Apparently, we can diagnose someone with a different brain yet out of 100% of what we should know we only know around 10%. We know that on average our brain processes around 60,000 thoughts a day and most of them are repetitive. We also know that our brains have the capacity to select which thoughts we want to keep and which we want to purge. Do you know why it’s so hard to study the brain? One of the reasons is because of free will. The prediction factor is not set in stone. Which means that each brain encompasses millions of variables. 

So now I must ask you, knowing all this information, understanding how little we know, who told you that you can’t remember something, can’t understand something, can’t manage something, can’t get out of bed, can’t adult, who? I bet it’s your brain that told you this, right? And who is responsible for filtering your thoughts? A diagnosis isn’t a treatment nor an answer it’s just a window into the house you’ve already built. I urge you to take the 10% you know and create the 90% you don’t know with discipline, a commitment and hardship to live in the 90% not the 10%. Your brain is not a stop sign, it is a yellow light, proceed with caution, but proceed anyway. If you work with me or have worked with me in the past, you know that I operate through accountability and resilience. I do it because above all, I believe in free will and the power of the mind over the matter. I may only know very little and even less about your brain, but what I do know is the power of discipline and resilience.  

You feel overwhelmed? I hear you. I understand. Is this a stop sign though just because you’re overwhelmed? 

I am so privileged, it’s kind of crazy. 

I can call my friends and complain about my hard day. I can stream LOST and order food to be delivered to me within an hour. I have air conditioning, healthy children, a wonderful spouse, incredible friends, plus a career that I invested in that gives me absolute joy. However, I also have ADHD, CPTSD, Panic disorder, a rare auto-immune (which has zero chance of going dormant) that causes permanent blindness, hair loss, muscle spasms, exhaustion and restlessness. I have so much stacked against me it’s not even funny. But here I am living in the 90% I created. I still get overwhelmed, anxious and panicky. I still feel restless, depressed and exhausted. It doesn’t go away, ever. I just don’t allow it room in my 90% because when I do, I’m back at 10%. My life is more than 10% and so is yours. 

90/10

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**I think…we all have an incredible GPS system wired into our souls. **

No, I am not crazy (well mostly), I am very serious. You may refer to it as your “gut feeling/intuition/internal insight”, but really, it’s a GPS system. It tells you exactly where to go, where not to go, warns you of traffic and accidents. I am willing to bet that at any given time that you are dealing with a situation, task, complication (you know….life) your GPS tells you exactly what to do and screams at you when you ignore it. I am also willing to bet that at least 50% of you reading this are actively ignoring your GPS on a regular basis.  

Your GPS: “I know you’re scared but you need to do this”, “I don’t like their energy”, “she/he is lying”, “you can do this, you’ve got this…”, “don’t get involved, don’t say anything, this isn’t your business”, “walk away...”

***You:  “But But But…..Whatever, pfft.” Ignore.***

So how many times have you ignored your GPS until you regret it, “I should have listened to my instinct...” Probably as many times as I did until I let go of my hopes and focused on what was happening not what I wished would happen. A lot of anxiety comes from ignoring your GPS and pretending like things will be different. A lot of depression and mood swings happen from ignoring your GPS and then beating yourself up for not listening to it. 

Well, guess what? You can always course correct. Right? 

You CAN make better more cranial and thought processed choices, choices that allow you to listen to your GPS. Listen to your innate ability know the right answer (for you.) Again, I go back to accountability. You expect (yes you do) that your co-workers, clients, friends, partners,  and or kids listen to you, but you barely listen to yourself.  Your GPS is your accountability to yourself. You can make difficult decisions a bit easier. 

How do you know if it’s your GPS versus your hopes and idealistic emotions about thoughts? Your emotional thoughts will lead you to the road of least resistance (the easy way out.) Your GPS will guide you towards choices that require more effort, more work and more dedication to be honest and resilient. Your GPS will force you to hold yourself accountable and disallow for bullshit excuses, impulsive decisions and moral hypocrisy. It will not allow you to indulge too much in pity, complaining and self-doubt.

Don’t listen to me, listen to your gut on this one!

Course Correct

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One day, I bought a red dress. I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with everyone! I wore it to work and with friends, I kept asking for everyone’s opinion, I wanted them all to love it as much as I did. Unfortunately, not everyone liked my red dress. Some didn’t say anything at all, some said it was “ok” some even said it didn’t look good on me. What? How dare they!?! I LOVE this dress, are they blind? How dare they not like my dress, who do they think they are, anyway? They’re mean, they’re stupid, they’re dumb. Obviously, my dress is amazing. 

I came home from work after getting almost no validation or compliments and I threw the dress into the closet, far away from me. Stupid dress, it’s all its fault. People didn’t think I looked good in it so it’s obviously the dress, it’s not me. Or is it? Is it me? Why do I care so much about what people think about my dress? When I bought it, I loved it so much, I was so happy and confident in it. But this dress betrayed me. Or did it? The dress didn’t ask me to buy it, put it on or love it. It was just there, on a rack, minding its own business, waiting for someone to buy it and love it. 

So, what is it? Is it me? It must be me. Why do I do this, why do I seek approval and when I don’t get it, I attack those who didn’t give it to me and myself? Why do I do this to myself? It’s not the dress, it’s not the people (who I realize do not owe me anything at all and are entitled to their own opinion.) It’s me, it’s my lack of self, isn’t it? It’s me trying to “collect” validation, like a hobby. Some people collect baseball cards, and some people collect validation. Why does one need to collect validations? Why does one need other people’s approval and validation? When does one stop collecting validations? Is there a stop sign on the way that says, “Stop, you’ve arrived?” How does one know when to stop? This sound so exhausting. Just writing about it is so taxing, yuck.

Are you a collector too? 

I Bought a Red Dress

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I’ve written over a million trauma and drama-based books in my lifetime so far. Depending on your age, you have too, trust me.

You know the process; it starts in your head. First, it’s a devastating trauma about something that (might) happen if /when you take a risk, set a boundary or try something new. Your brain sits down in front of the computer, the word document is open, and you write your heart out. It’s a crashing blow of horrendous disasters and end of life catastrophes. You finish with immense sense of self closure and send it to the publishing house which lives in your brain’s Anxiety Department. That department has only one role, to market the fiction to the rest of your body as a documentary and convince the rest of your body to accept this narrative and portray it as a documentary (not a fiction.) So basically, you’re running a political campaign with all the bells and whistles of promised disappointments, lies and deceit. You turn a fiction into a reality, it’s magical. Who needs Hollywood when we have such a powerful marketing tool that’s free, always available and works overtime, for a lifetime?

You can guess what happens next right? Well, your marketing is so powerful that the fiction does turn into a reality and becomes a very real narrative, so real that even your body buys the bullshit and votes blindly to follow the brain. Now your body starts to act out too. You begin to feel uncomfortable and maybe even sick at the thought of ignoring the narrative that you just published. Your sweat glands let loose, your stomach begins to hurt, you may even become a frequent bathroom visitor. You might even be scared to leave or go to certain places without proper bathrooms, who knows? The sky is the limit on fictional writers, ya know?

So here comes the kicker, you ready? I am a liar and so are you. I am the most unauthentic of liars. I don’t lie to be liked, I don’t lie to be popular, or to make money, or even for validation. I lie to self-sabotage myself! What the f*ck? Seriously? Yes. I make a mockery of myself in my own head and then buy my own fictitious bullshit.

Ladies and gentlemen, no matter how many books I’ve written, at the end of the day, the joke is on me.

So what’s your next book about? 


The Real Story

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Having ADHD is often either minimized or completely altogether misunderstood. You ever notice how often you buy things in sets of 2 or even 3 at a time? What about your inability to try and have the last word? What about how quickly you can sometimes run through all of your emotions and then be over the situation almost immediately and yet sometimes, you get paralyzed by it all. 

How often do you set a goal and forget what it was 20 minutes later? How often do you think you're going to fail at everything and then not only do you do well but you exceed your own expectations? Yet, it's hard to validate your own work. How about comparing yourself to others? What are you thinking about right now as you're reading this description? Do you bite your nails, play with your hair, have a restless leg? A sense of strong principles and moral ethics?

ADHD is not just the complicated layers of thoughts and feelings; it is so much more! I help clients harness their ADHD in ways that help them practice their goals, reach their top potential and understand their own mind.

Here, we work on coping skills, accountability, support and brain over mind mentality. ADHD can be a powerful brain tool, the trick is to know how to operate it.

ADHD Coaching (Children, Teens & Adults)

ADHD Coaching

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I work with individuals to address various aspects of their lives, incorporating holistic approaches that consider physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Wellness coaching involves looking at the whole person and finding personalized strategies to support them.

As a Life Coach, I work with individuals to help them achieve balance and fulfillment in various aspects of their lives. This involves considering the interconnectedness of different areas, including physical health, emotional well-being, relationships, career, and much more.

The Story of You

I help clients learn to hold themselves accountable,  and honor their progress

Accountability and Support

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Relationship coaching focuses on conflict resolution, learning new coping skills and making decisions that are both intuitive and forward supportive. One of the reasons couples get in the stuck is because there are some unresolved conflicts and or needs that are not being addressed directly. 

My approach is very direct with a seasoning of clinical science, experience and result driven. You will laugh, you will cry, you will feel and think outside the box and get what you need.

You are not coming here to sit and listen, you are coming here for coping mechanisms, hacks and a deeper understanding of your needs and wants. 

Marriage and Couples Coaching

Relationship Coaching: Moving Past the "Stuck"

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I focus on each client's unique goals, creating a customized, actionable plan to help them achieve success. My approach is direct yet empathetic, results-driven but flexible. I provide guidance and support every step of the way, with the ultimate goal of empowering you to overcome fears and obstacles, and become self-sufficient in your personal growth.

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